Sunday, November 12, 2006

why aren't you married yet?

Single in the certain age, might be bored with the question "why aren't you married yet?"

This happen to me to. ;-) [That is a dreaded question]

To kick that questions, try some creative answers, like:
"Why, did you want to introduce me to someone?" [Ask with a smile. You might end up with someone.]
"Oh no! I forgot! Thank you for the reminder." [Try to sound more innocent than sarcastic. You'll get a laugh.]

Thursday, November 02, 2006

what is in his mind…

A friend of mine, Ben [nick name], complained to me about his girlfriend, who impressed with what others make.

All began when his girlfriend went out with her ex-college buddy, Tom. Just after she came home, she said to Ben, “Wow, do you know how much Tom’s salary now? In his first year out of school, he made $125.000! You know - he went to the best law-school in this country.”

Well- I understand his jealousy. I can’t imagine how I feel if my boyfriend tell me that my best friend has a slim body. Men and women have their own different sensitive point.

Ben sighed, “She didn’t have to convince me that she’s oblivious to material possessions. That makes me feel like she’s attaching my worth to my wallet. There’s always going to be someone out there with deeper pockets than mine.”

Wow- only between us, trust me you should never tell a guy, this kind of stuff.


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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

getting over a broken heart

I know we all ever heard the phrase ‘time heals all wounds’ or ‘this too shall pass’.
What you have to understand, time does not heal. But healing does take time. I am going to give you some tips for getting over your broken heart, and promise me, you have to involve in the process. Because healing is an active process not a passive one.
When your relationship didn’t work, and you have to deal with heartbreak- most people will tell you; you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to get over the pain. Here are some tips that might help:
  • It's okay to grieve for a time. Seek support from your friends and family as you come to terms with the changes in your life. Share your feelings. Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust — someone who recognizes what they're going through — helps them feel better.

Don't be afraid to cry. Going through a break-up can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can be a big help.

  • Remember what's good about you. People with broken hearts tend to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing.

If you find this happening to you, remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you. Also forgive yourself. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.

  • Don't look at past relationships as failures, but rather as opportunities to learn and improve your relationship skills.
  • Just because you aren't a couple, don’t have to be a recluse. Treat yourself to an evening out doing something you enjoy. Take along a friend if it's not a solo activity. There's more to life than romantic love. Take this opportunity to nurture your friends, family and self.
  • Take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress, depression and give your self-esteem a boost.
  • Do the things you normally enjoy. Whether it's seeing a movie or going to a concert, do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while. Join church groups, volunteer activities, and family party are just a few ideas for meeting new people in a safe environment. Get a makeover, join a gym or start a diet. As you improve your health and appearance your self-esteem will rise.
  • Repeating daily affirmations to regain confidence in yourself.
  • Keep yourself busy. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby.

[Warning: Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. They're not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.]

"It takes time for sadness to go away. Be part of the process. Be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin."

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Monday, October 30, 2006

aromatherapy in romance

After a hectic day at the office, one best thing you can do is relax with your partner. Complete your moment together with perfect aromatherapy, which is give a calm mood.

Essential oils are also known to induce and rouse passionate moments among couples. Scents can seduce you and your spouse as the chemicals present in the essential oils send messages to your brain.

Research has shown the pheromone properties of essential oil and more industries are incorporating these oils as an essential component in their perfume formulations. You can also use your favorite oil in your daily life; how ever, essential oils are very concentrated and direct application is not recommended, as it causes burns or damage to your nose. You can perfume your underwear or clothing by letting the scent molecules adhere to your clothing.

For those romantic moments, you can use orange, jasmine or black pepper. Need more passion? Then try using clary sage, rose or cedar wood. Take 3 small cotton balls and apply a drop of essential oil on each. Keep these in your underwear drawer or your clothes wardrobe. Allow about 2 hours for the scent to diffuse into your clothes. Feel the excitement!

For scenting other items like pillows and bed spreads, repeat the same procedure. Avoid applying essential oils directly onto cloth as it will stain your cloth. Use 2 drops each of clary sage, neroli and chamomile.

After a hard day, sooth your partner’s nerves by using a head massage with essential oils. This action will ultimately help him / her relaxes and is in a conducive mood for romance. Mix 2 drops of lavender, rose and geranium into a teaspoon of almond and jojoba oils each. Rub this oil on your hands and then massage your partner's forehead gently. Rub outwards towards the ears. Next, proceed to using circular motions to massage the forehead.

Touch can also invoke your romantic mood. Massaging your partner’s neck will help achieve this mood. You'll need 2 drops of black pepper, ginger and ylang ylang, each into 2 teaspoons of sunflower and grape seed oil. Use this oil mix to massage your partner's neck form top to bottom. Squeeze the muscles at the base of the neck. Repeat this procedure 10 times.

[The same formula can be used for a back massage. Start by placing some oil between the shoulder blades of your partner. Massage from the center outwards, using both hands. You can gently squeeze the muscles and rub the oil. Work downwards until you reach the pelvic area.]

There are a variety of aromatic oils to use to induce romantic moments. The rose oil is an all time favorite for romance and love. You can try different combinations of essential oils that promote romance. Once you get a real feeling for particular oil, you can decide to stick with it.

Go ahead and indulge yourself and be a part of those fleeting romantic moments.

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Sunday, October 29, 2006

break up might be a good thing for u right now

From my experience, during the first week after your break up, you might regret your decision. You’re not sure anymore and start asking that questions all over again.

Did I do the right thing? Is this exactly I really want? What if I made a mistake? …and so many more.

And maybe, you worry, that you will never find anyone after your last boyfriend. You suddenly feel insecure and depressed all the time and pretty unpleasant to be around.

Stop torture yourself!

My opinion, every situations have a good point, include your desperate break up. It’s time to make yourself happy and look after yourself. Also find out what you really want for next relationship.

There’s an interesting post titled ‘Tips On Finding Mister Right’ from There are qualities that you should look for in a man, and these would ensure a happy, fruitful, and fulfilling relationship. Such as;

  1. Chivalry is not dead. Every woman wants to be treated like a queen and a guy who still opens doors and pulls up the chair for you is most guaranteed to treat you nice and take good care of you.
  2. Look at how he treats the girls in his family and it will give you a glimpse of how he will treat you. If he treats his sisters and mother kind and well, and has a great deal of respect for them, it is likely that you will be treated well and respected too.
  3. Choose a guy who isn’t afraid to look un-macho. This means that he is secure of himself and will understand your feelings, as he can also be in touch with what we call that “feminine side” of his. He isn’t afraid to show his emotions so both of you can be more open to one another about each other’s feelings. Make sure he can control his emotions though. You don’t want a guy who cries more often than you do or breaks down before you do.
  4. Go for a man with an ambition, or a passion. You would know that he has a certain drive and this can lead him to succeed. This assures you that he can take charge and take responsibility, and provide well for you and your family. Choose one who isn’t easily defeated or pessimistic about the things that come his way.
  5. Find a man who is confident and knows how to carry himself. He doesn’t try too hard to look the part but he simply tries to be presentable and charming enough. This won’t make you dread that time when you have to introduce him to your family and friends.
  6. Find a man who can make you laugh! Life will no doubt badger you with different trials and problems. Though it is important for you to be with someone who has to be serious enough to deal with all these, it is just as important to have someone who can take your mind away from all of it. Laughing is also a very wonderful feeling that leaves you optimistic and ready to take on anything. Plus you are sure to enjoy a lifetime with this person and not become bored.
  7. It is ideal that you and your man share the same values. This way, if ever you encounter problems, you can avoid conflicts stemming from drastically different perspectives. In addition, a guy must be open-minded too.
  8. Make sure that he also intellectually stimulates you and can keep up his end of the conversation. This keeps you on edge, apart from the attraction you have for each other. Plus you’ll never get bored with a man who constantly feeds your mind.
  9. Do everything you can think of to test whether he is faithful to you or not. Loyalty is very important to women and for most of us, love equates to trust. If this is a problem, you can be sure that the relationship will crumble into pieces.
  10. Lastly, he must have a great tolerance level for you. You can be experiencing PMS and all hell can break loose. Therefore, find a man who understands you as a woman and one who will still patiently love you.

That are really great tips, aren’t that? Before find your Mr. Right, enjoy every single life. I think a gap year is important, you don’t have to think twice if you feel like doing something.